Monday 1 June 2015

The day everything change

Ding, ding, ding went the bell. Eyeing 
Up the 250,000 dollar race. The crowed roaring as the two time champion King Kyah came into the birdcage. Neigh went jolly Jorja. Heading out to the track. dust swirls around in the strong summer wind. Just before we were loaded in Jolly Jorja started frothing up with white lava as she insterpaited the 1200 meter race. when the caller said set Andrew Kyah's jockey looked competitive to win this thing. The gates swung open and Jolly Jorja took the early lead. Going down the back stretch Jorja started reducing her speed. As crazy Caro took over with 700 meters to go. Coming round the home stretch for the glory. Caro and Kyah neck and neck until... Jolly Jorja starts bouncing out of the ground. Suddenly... Kyah stumbled on the turf. Caro and Jorja battle it out. Caro is going and she will be taking home the shiny gold 250,000 dollars.
By: Caro

1 comment:

  1. Caro
    I appreciate the effort that you have made to complete this piece of narrative writing, including the fact that you started again from scratch because you weren't happy with your original. Don't forget that there needed to be either a science theme with your writing or a science event in the story.
    Mr Webb